*The Amateur Juror

I have always wanted to do jury duty. I have always wanted to do jury duty because it is important. I have always wanted to do jury duty because it looks exciting. I have seen many movies and television shows that have led me to believe that were I to do jury duty, I’d be […]

*Bridget Jones’s Consolation

Recently I saw, within a few days of each other, Bridget Jones’s Baby and Joe Cinque’s Consolation, which, if nothing else, indicates my fascinatingly varied viewing tastes. However, it is not a case of ‘if nothing else’, giving that seeing these films caused me to fear that, although I like to call myself a feminist at this moment […]

*A message to my average-looking daughter

I suffer from an ongoing fear of being in the wrong cinema whenever I go to a movie by myself (due to people I know having accidentally gone to Sneakers when they meant to go to Howards End, and, strangest of all, not realising their error until Sneakers had been going for something like fifteen […]

*Reflections relating to a golden star

Yes, I’ve jammed the word ‘Reflections’ into the title of this piece because I’m quietly confident that doing so will give me carte blanche to jump around from topic to topic, without needing to make any kind of coherent argument; also, it sounds like the name of a bar in a Hilton hotel in the […]

*Motherf..ker

When I announced that I was going to see the Garry Marshall film Mother’s Day because I had the feeling (yes, I know I’m psychic) I was going to want to write something about it, a friend pointed out that it was therefore my duty to see Marshall’s other calendar-driven movies, Valentine’s Day and New […]

*There Won’t Be Blood

You may be under the impression you are reading a knock-off of Miss Taylor’s engrossing, if sadly premature, health-kick memoir Elizabeth Takes Off when I tell you that in 2015 I experienced a few golden months in which I had never felt better in my life. And the reason I felt this way was due to ‘the menopause’, […]

*The Only Fame in Town

As I am having a general – and, to be honest, borderline incoherent – ‘rap’ about fame, yes, certainly, I could start off quoting from the David Bowie song but that’s always a horrible thing to do (and in the wake of his, very upsetting, death, I’ve also stayed away from writing think pieces on […]

*Child-ish Humour

I finally got around to watching the movie Obvious Child, which I’d been wanting to do for a long time, because I’m all for people having abortions. I was not planning to put pen to paper about this flick, however, mainly because I couldn’t be bothered, but then I found I was thinking about it […]

*Joy Story

As everyone knows, the Christmas hols can be slim pickings at the cinema if you’re not trying to keep a gaggle of little children entertained, which is why I felt the urge to lose myself in the tale of a lady who invented a mop. I’ve got to be honest, I tend to prefer more […]

*Holiday Pay

I have just travelled by train with my mother from Sydney to Perth, having last year travelled by train with my mother from Adelaide to Darwin. Suffice to say, this means that I’ve now seen a whole lot of scrub, the viewing of which has been interspersed with much analysis of how Kate Middleton would really […]