*Back to Maine Street

Back in 2013, I cast my eye over every version of A Star Is Born then in existence: the 1937 one, with Janet Gaynor as Esther Blodgett; the 1954 one, with Judy Garland as Esther Blodgett; and the 1976 one, with Barbra Streisand as Esther Hoffman. I have now been to see the latest version […]

*Janestreet

I’d often wondered what kinds of loons shell out for VIP packages, paying hundreds of dollars not to meet the band Fleetwood Mac in its entirety, and having to cope with the knowledge of how bored the celebrities must be at the prospect of shaking hands with all these nobodies and that surely they are […]

*Minibreak

Hello to anyone kind enough to visit this website. If you’re looking at how long it’s been between blogging drinks and thinking, ‘Geez, you’re certainly doing bugger-all’, I have been, and am, working on some other writing projects. The point is, I am not as lazy and reclusive as I seem, though that would probably be impossible […]

*The Amateur Juror

I have always wanted to do jury duty. I have always wanted to do jury duty because it is important. I have always wanted to do jury duty because it looks exciting. I have seen many movies and television shows that have led me to believe that were I to do jury duty, I’d be […]

*Bridget Jones’s Consolation

Recently I saw, within a few days of each other, Bridget Jones’s Baby and Joe Cinque’s Consolation, which, if nothing else, indicates my fascinatingly varied viewing tastes. However, it is not a case of ‘if nothing else’, giving that seeing these films caused me to fear that, although I like to call myself a feminist at this moment […]

*A message to my average-looking daughter

I suffer from an ongoing fear of being in the wrong cinema whenever I go to a movie by myself (due to people I know having accidentally gone to Sneakers when they meant to go to Howards End, and, strangest of all, not realising their error until Sneakers had been going for something like fifteen […]

*Reflections relating to a golden star

Yes, I’ve jammed the word ‘Reflections’ into the title of this piece because I’m quietly confident that doing so will give me carte blanche to jump around from topic to topic, without needing to make any kind of coherent argument; also, it sounds like the name of a bar in a Hilton hotel in the […]

*Motherf..ker

When I announced that I was going to see the Garry Marshall film Mother’s Day because I had the feeling (yes, I know I’m psychic) I was going to want to write something about it, a friend pointed out that it was therefore my duty to see Marshall’s other calendar-driven movies, Valentine’s Day and New […]

*There Won’t Be Blood

You may be under the impression you are reading a knock-off of Miss Taylor’s engrossing, if sadly premature, health-kick memoir Elizabeth Takes Off when I tell you that in 2015 I experienced a few golden months in which I had never felt better in my life. And the reason I felt this way was due to ‘the menopause’, […]

*The Only Fame in Town

As I am having a general – and, to be honest, borderline incoherent – ‘rap’ about fame, yes, certainly, I could start off quoting from the David Bowie song but that’s always a horrible thing to do (and in the wake of his, very upsetting, death, I’ve also stayed away from writing think pieces on […]